The Ezrin Quale Trilogy

2nd-level divination

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 10 feet
• Components: V, S, M (an offcut of wood your father swore would be handy one day, or similar item)
• Duration: 10 minutes
• Classes: Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard

Choose one willing creature you can see within range (which can be you.) For the spell’s duration, that creature establishes a telepathic link with their father. Being a father isn't necessarily about blood, the person the target considers to be their father is contacted. The communication will work at any distance and even across different planes of existence.

Until the spell ends, the target can ask up to five questions. Answers are usually long, rambling, and often involve terrible puns. The father is under no compulsion to offer a truthful answer, and possibly won't if he thinks it's funnier.

A question may be spent to request practical advice; doing so grants the target advantage on one applicable ability check it makes before the spell ends.

When the spell ends, or once five questions have been asked, the telepathic link closes.

Ezrin's Notes

Mis-spelling of Speak with Dead.
"Help! I'm in trouble!"
"Hi, In Trouble. I'm Dad."